Breakable

Oh Allah, grant me the strength to face this. Grant me the strength to keep a distance from certain people and wrongful deeds. I... am... too weak now.

of effort and the result

I remember 'liking' a post on the Facebook group formed for my coursemates by Xinyu suggesting us to hold a celebration for Teacher's Day (16th May) about a week ago. Who would've known that I would be given the task to be involved in the management of food (initially), multimedia (a few seconds later during our meeting), and finally games (a few hours before the event itself - Helmi was the source) for doing so. For the last of these three, I wasn't involved much because I was hands full with multimedia-related jobs. The food part was a piece of cake particularly because I already knew a lady who's good at baking cakes from a lecturer and I simply asked her to recommend a caterer who makes good nasi minyak. I am so thankful that my partners - Yantie and Kak Bella were very helpful and independent that when I was panicking as the deadline for multimedia approaches, they could manage the rest of the things on their own. Nonetheless, I had to become the interpreter and uh... sort of a DJ unofficially during the event. Being a final year dental undergraduate, weekdays are usually the time we're clogged with so many work - from 8am till 7pm - leaving us with just a few hours to work on extra-curricular things, but thinking of the extra hours our lecturers have been spending for our sake all these years... our effort is not comparable to that at all. So I might as well give my best for this. Finally, the day arrived - 17th May 2012 marked the very first time dental undergraduates held a celebration for Teacher's Day.

Our dean, Dr. Adam Husein

11.00am - "Z, kau kat mana? Dr. Adam dah sampai dah ni?", said my coursemate, Didi, via handphone. I was still doing some touch-ups in a clinic. I was surprised and ultimately panicked. I ran upstairs while holding my laptop as my multimedia presentation was still on render. 

Helmi, me, and Kak Bella

For some reasons I failed to comprehend, I had to become the unofficial interpreter. What on earth, really.

Left to right: Dr. Wan Zaripah, Dr. Adam, and Dr. Fadhli officiating the event

I was amazed that Helmi managed the event fine even when he had to become the emcee on the spot. He stuttered here and there, but if I was in his shoes, I would've been dead blank. 

Left to right: Dr. Marzuki, Dr. Adam, Dr. Azirrawani, Dr. Daddy, and Dr. Basaruddin

The caterer provided us with ample of food. Really, it was worth the money. And the food was delicious as well. Most importantly........ I didn't have to undergo yet another episode of intravenous transfusion of Tramal this time.

Left to right: Dr. Fazal Reza, Dr Fadhli, Assoc. Prof. Dr Erry, Dr. Marzuki, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Sam'aan

Many thanks to Muhammad Huzaifah aka 'Boss' and Aizan for contributing ideas for the multimedia presentation. I'm really not good at making funny videos, but judging by the way the audience laughed... I think I did alright. A number of lecturers and students asked to replay the video later so I managed to shove in a few more stuff into the video while the games were going.

Left to right: Dr. Adam's wife, Kak Bella, Dr. Nini, Dr. Roselinda, Helmi, Dr. Zurairah, and Dr. Norsila 

Uncountable thanks to Kak Bella, Helmi, Kak Hajar, and Kak Pipah for coming up with fun games. Seeing all the lecturers and students laughing their heart out, I couldn't help but to join in the fun although I was initially very stressed.

Left to right: (sitting) Dr. TP Kannan, Dr. Fazal Reza, Dr. Khursyeed Alam, and Dr. Shanawaz. (standing) Qiaoshu, Kak Hajar, Dr. Abdullah Pohchi, Didi, Dr. Basaruddin, Huiqi, and Pang.

The first game was 'Belon Beracun'. It's something like the musical chair, except that for this, the one who held the balloon in the end would have to pop it in order to retrieve the instructions. They held it as if it was a grenade.

Left to right: Dr. Wan Zaripah, Dr. Sarliza Yasmin Sanusi, Dr. Khursyeed Alam

The next game was 'Pemberita Berkepala Tiga'. Three people would act like a news anchor and they'd take turn and make up stories by saying one word at a time. The rule stated that it was supposed to be spontaneous, but apparently, our lecturers tried to discuss beforehand on what kind of story it'd be. Might be a habit we picked up from constantly planning treatments for our patients :P

I was surprised to witness how fluent Dr. Alam was at speaking in Malay language considering that he has only been in Malaysia for a few months. The story they made up was crazy - something like a student ate alginate to make impressions and brought it to the dean's office... I was buzy that I couldn't listen to the whole story :(

Left to right: Dr. Hany Ahmad and Dr Saaid

The last game was uh... I can't recall its name, but it has something to do with two people making a conversation. The rule was... the conversation may only involve questions. The most dramatic person at that time might be our orthodontist, Dr. Ahmad Burhanuddin, who acted cheekily. It ended with Dr. Saa'id and Dr. Hany Ahmad reciting Tola'al Badru 'Alayna. 

Left to right: Kak Mimi, Yantie, Kak Bella, me, Azizah, and Izza

At the end of the event, we were surpised with three Secret Recipe cakes by the lecturers with this pasted on the boxes: 

All the exhaustion simply dissipated. We're very touched. We really love each and every one of you, dear lecturers.

Left to right: Me, Azizah, Kak Bella, and Aizan

Finally, the time for me to gobble on some food arrived. I was touched when all of my coursemates reserved some food and cakes for Kak Bella, Helmi, and me. Seriously, I couldn't ask for more than this.

On a completely different note, as usual, Dr. Sarliza (paediatric dentist), Kak Bella, and I will go for swimming every Wednesday and Sunday. So yesterday was not an exception. 

See... after numerous times of swimming there, we found out from a lady who happened to be a regular there that a Chinese lad drowned in that very swimming pool a few years ago. So I asked her, "How deep is that swimming pool, really? I never really cared previously, but knowing this now... how deep is it?". "12 feet", she answered. Kak Bella and I panicked for awhile. I really had no idea all these while because I usually just dive into the water and start swimming 20 laps or so - especially since I don't jog anymore, I really need to work out one way or another. Personally, as long as I can still swim and stay afloat, there's not much reason to be afraid of how deep it is and etc. But knowing that a person drowned there is a totally different story. Shit.

Left to right: Helmi, Kak Bella, and I

And after swimming, Kak Bella, Aizan, Apek, and I celebrated Helmi's birthday at Ozarah. Son, I wish you all the best in life as well as afterlife. Thanks for bringing joy to our batch, really. 

Life is getting more interesting these few days ;)

p/s: Sorry for grammatical errors. Didn't bother to reread this. Hur hurrrrr.

move

I have so many reasons to be angry right now. First thing first, I misplaced my laser mouse and I really have no idea where it is right now. Uhhh, not another RM80 to be spent. My fingertips are sore from manipulating this software using just touchpad. That's certainly not an efficient way of finishing a task. Then perhaps because of the somewhat recent short-circuit my laptop experienced that it is running at such an excruciatingly slow speed. I. Need. To. Upgrade. My. RAM. To. Eight. Gigabyte. Next, I think my brain had undergone significant degenerative changes that I am so frigging slow at learning new Adobe After Effects tricks - which brings me to the next thing on my list. This cunning Adobe is so good at preventing piracy that I had tried at least 3 methods of cracking it and as soon as I succeeded, the piracy-detecting-stuff haunted me within a couple of days. Ah well, 'Arrrrrrr!' (like a 9gag pirate), I'd really really like to buy that software as in... legally, but it's just near impossible with that price (more than RM2000). I can buy another electrical guitar with that much money. Oh, internet, Y U HAVE SUCH LOW BANDWITH?! I need Unifi for... 'Arrrrr!' ;D

Anyhoo, I'm thinking of coming home at least once before my final professional exam. When shall I go home, hm...

sonic boom

I decided to redecorate my bedroom. It isn't much, but at least it feels somewhat cozier now. I used to feel so annoyed having to stay in because it looked somewhat dreadful. And I hate this daylight ceiling light. White lights - I really hate them. I wish I can do something about that, but I'm quite sure the admin will get mad if I do so. And the sun looks so brilliant today, I am at ease. *crackles and stretches*

Anyway, I got to meet my Apple Danish girlfriends about 3 weeks ago, FINALLY! Ah well, only 2 months+ to go and I'll have more time to do whatever I've been holding myself back from doing. Pumped up! Okay, back to my Contemporary Fixed Prosthodontics textbook... eh, oh... it's 6pm already. Time to go to the night market nearby :P Om nom nom ^_^ Anyway, I'm in such a good mood these few days, I had been gobbling on food so much that I gained back a kilo. Darnnnnn.

And I need a good speaker. Soon. Will someone be kind enough to buy me one? Banyak cikadak pula.

anna molly

Scumbag brain, y u no stop playing We Are Young by Fun in my mind?! Anyway, it's a song worth listening to, really :)

I am somewhat homesick :( The last time I came home, I didn't get to spend time with my parents much. When Umi told me, "We taught you to treat our guests with the best hospitality you can give. So don't feel sad. We're prepared for this when you came", she said. I was tearful. I really really really love you both with all my heart. Yes, they were very strict on me until I started to do my DDS. and they really give me all the freedom I need - whether it's about the people I choose to befriend, the course I take, marriage, going out, and the list goes on and on. What more can I ask for? Nothing. They even listened to me every single time I called them to tell all my problems and whenever I needed words of comfort and advices as I felt uneasy. "You and Ahmad are both the same. Whenever both of you sit for an exam, I'm the one who gets nervous haha", I remember Umi telling me this. I'd cry every single time of gratefulness. Thank you, Allah. It's because of them I feel stronger.

I had a fight with a friend this week. I'm not going to say I felt great about it, but I won't say I'm dead sad about it either. Frankly, I'm awfully sick of being blamed about every single thing. It's not about proving myself right, but I'm really a human. And being very sensitive to tone changes is my weakness, but sensibility sure isn't. And I'm sick of apologising as well. Until I receive an apology, my principles will stay tethered.

Speaking of which, I have ample of time this week. So far so good. Serviced and washed my car, did my laundry on time, finished all of my fixed prosthodontics homework, finally submitted my answer for the dental quiz this week, and next, I shall focus on my task to produce a multimedia presentation for next week's teacher's day party. Feeling somewhat productive and energetic this week. Alhamdulillah :) As long as 9gag doesn't start sucking my soul out again :D

I need to start revising. I studied for only a couple of days for my previous exam. Alhamdulillah, I still got the best result I could ever ask for. Time to start let this ignorance dissipate. And ah yes... I need to change this problem of failing to be punctual soon. Soon. Sooooon. Blarrrgggghhhhh!

Subangians :D

Well, the title doesn't really describe us best as few of us had moved to other cities nearby. I'll be frank, losing a friend isn't something I can cope with well. So as I lost one (basically we're still friends, but somewhat not really? Eh?) yesterday, I was overwhelmed with sadness and guilt beyond expectation (such thing hadn't happened to me for quite some time) that I did the usual thing I do whenever I feel like clearing my head up - take a long drive. I might had sped more than I usually do that I accidentally did a drift once and lost control of the car - also once - while I was about 30km away from my university. Alhamdulillah, nothing really bad happened or I'd be screwed. Adrenaline was rushing, my hands were trembling due to some other stuff, and my lacrimal glands weren't helping much by secreting tears that my vision became blurry. I was somewhat distraught when I arrive at my room. Found my childhood friend, Kishie, online and decided to share my sadness with her. Had a long chat actually, talked about stuff I don't dare telling to any other soul. That made me realise that... I really miss my Subang friends. I miss their company, talking nonsense, pulling pranks, and just... spending time with them. At some point, I just need a person who has a completely different point of view compared to the people here. I'm not dissing anyone here, but the idea of shoving all these science people into one campus separating them from people of other courses isn't really working for me (but I choose to just play along and get my DDS in the shortest time possible). Personally, it restricts our mind - we learn to become more rigid. You're not going to see only people with science background when you work anyway. And these few childhood friends of mine provide me that sense of comfort and openness I'm currently longing for. Just a few more moths to go, insya Allah, and goodbye, USM. I shall return to them - to whom I can just speak my mind without bothering being judged all the time. Well, now, at least some of this stuffiness in my chest is somewhat relieved. Ventilation - a-okay! Now I can think straight. Having them by my side, I know that I am much stronger than I thought. So what if I lose one? I still have them. I still have my family members. I always have my Creator. I still have a number of good friends in the university with whom I cried and laughed with. Zahirah, insya Allah, you'll be fine.

they're here! :D

Umi and Ayah are here in Kelate to see me and shopping ^_^ Alhamdulillah, yay! I had been feeling detached from my family and home. I'm really grateful :) Speaking of which... a couple of days ago, I scouted for hotels as Umi instructed. She wanted one that's nearest to Pasar Siti Khadijah, a market where she usually shops at annually, so I chose a humble but somewhat cozy hotel. Yesterday, the very moment she stepped into the hotel, she started complaining and we headed for Grand Riverview instead. Haha, adui... porabih bogheh den drive cari. Nonetheless, having them with me this weekend is much more meaningful than a few liters of fuel.


I longed for such peace of mind since these past few months. This week is particularly stressful to me perhaps because I had to go to Langkawi last weekend by bus (an eight hour trip) just to listen to one lad boasting continuously for four to five hours instead of getting proper education on social etiquette. To some, I might seem exaggerating, but having to do that right after we sat for our exams, I just can't let this incident pass just like that. Ah well, whatever. I already submitted my feedback... emotionally. LOL. And yeah, my left shoulder is getting from bad to worse, I had to resume taking my painkillers. Celecoxib, come to mommy!


While in Langkawi, I was pick-pocketed . Alhamdulillah, my purse wasn't in the outermost pocket of my bag, but my earphones were. RM100 worth of earphones... just like that. Honestly, I think it's stupid. Earphones? Who on earth steals a pair of earphones? If the pocket wasn't turned inside out (I zipped it before exiting the ferry), I would've thought that I misplaced them instead. Son, whoever you are... please choose something more valuable to steal.


Anyhoo, insya Allah, I shall go home on this 26th ^_^ I miss Joni. Le cat, how are you? I'm thinking of meeting up with my Subang girlfriends too. Man, I miss everyone.